In Loving Memory
These Pages are dedicated to a very special and musically talented lady, Lynne Israel.
The most beautiful lady in the world.
Lynne was taken by cancer on 29th August 2012.
A Life that Never Was.
These are a collection of Poems and Memories for a lady I will Never forget.
In 1976, I was 18, and Living in Argoed, a small village in South Wales, Around 3 miles from the town of Blackwood.
I still remember that day back in 1976, It was Wednesday April 14th. It was a
warm summer day at 12.35 pm. As usuual I had headed for the record shop
at the other end of town in my lunch break, “Listen Records & Tapes”
it was called, little did I Know at that time how drastically the
events of the next few minuets would impact on the rest of my life.
Some people will tell you that there is no such thing as ‘Love at First
Sight’, or a ‘Soul Mate’ well I can tell you without a doubt they are wrong.
You walked into that shop and your personality overflowed; your eyes,
smile, and your voice were charismatic. From that very moment my life
changed. I even remember why you came into the shop, it was to buy some strings for you acoustic guitar, well it was just the bottom ‘E’ string
you wanted. However, they did not sell them in the shop.
We talked for a short while, and I told you they might have guitar strings in the music shop at the other end of town, You didn’t know where it was, so I offered to take you there, as it wasn’t far from where I was working.
We dropped into “Dorothy’s” cafe and had a coffee together, and
in that short time you told me so much.
Some may believe there are spells or magic potions that can make love
blossom, but you managed that without any magical or mythical powers or
potions, just your smile, soft voice and warm eyes.
We did meet a few more times over the following weeks.
My Eyes, My voice, the very way I was lost for words when in your company may have spoke volumes, but that was not enough, if only I had told you everything that was on my mind, my true feelings and how much I wanted
to be with you.
But I didn’t.
From everything that you told me, I knew that what you were about to do, while honorable, would not last.
I did not tell you this, – I could not tell you this.
Maybe I should have.
I didn’t even try to kiss you, the brief moments I held your hand it was
like a power, a charge I had never felt before. If only I told
you how much ‘I Love You’.
But I didn’t.
There is a kind of love that for some may come just once in a lifetime, it
is higher and more honorable than normal romantic love, a pure and
perfect love that lasts beyond time. For the very fortunate this is a
love that unfolds into a destiny I can only describe as “Euphoric Bliss”
and “an Eternal Love”. Regretably such a love is rare, and if let slip
away, no matter of time or distance any chance of happiness is lost.
Meeting you was like a dream, unfortunately a dream that never eventuated.
If I had told you how I felt about you, the following years would have been different.
Tears of sorrow would have been replaced by tears of joy, happiness and love.
The pain of knowing I had found and lost such beauty was driving
me crazy, my doctor told me that over time I would start to feel better.
Years passed, but that didn’t heal the pain, maybe distance would help.
12,000 miles away in Australia I still found myself spending long
lonely nights laying alone and crying, imagining how it could have been if we were together.
In my mind I would live a life that never was, thinking of you and how much I wished that we were together.
If only I had told you how much I loved you, but I was always lost for
words when I looked into your eyes, heard your voice, and seen your smile.
Many times I thought of reaching out and trying to find you again, Not knpwing if you had re married, or were seeing anyone. Then after 21 years of being in Australia, on April 14th, 2006, the 30th anniversary of our meeting, I placed an add in the South Wales Argus, trying to locate you, the
overwhelming joy I had when I got an E-mail from you, you were still single, never having re married, and the night you rang me I was ecstatic, I asked you if you had ever thought of getting married again, you must have known what was on my mind, as you said, “If you’r asking what I think you are, the asnswer is yes!” I was indeed asking you if you would marry me, and then when I
actually returned to Wales and stood and seen you again, my feelings for
you were as strong as ever.
It Turned out that all those years ago, our feelings for each other were the same. But the timing was wrong.
Our main pastime together was our music, back when we met you sang and played guitar in a local band, something you done for several years, and then went solo, giving great performances in clubs around the valleys, your voice able to instill great feeling and depth in everything you sang.
Due to an unfortunate injury, performing in clubs came to an end, but you kept up your talent of singing and playing both the guitar and keyboard for personal pleasure, recording at home, both your own songs and singing material by other artists.
We wrote and recorded many songs
together, starting with songs that were about us, how we had met, and then found each other again, and we would have gone on to write many more had the situation been different.
While the lyrics and
arrangement we could work on together, unfortunately I could not sing,
or play an instrument myself, it was your voice and skill on the
keyboard that was fantastic, giving our songs great depth.
While you were trying to teach me to sing a
little, it was a hard job. I had very little confidence in myself, and did
not believe I could do it, but you kept telling me that I could. You
encouraged me, and on occasion I was able to keep in tune, another year
or so and maybe I would have been able to sing a full song with you, and
not sound like a wailing alley cat.
It was not just in this area you gave me confidence, with a smile and soft words you made me feel like I could do anything.
Regrettably, we only had a short few years together befor cancer tore us apart and you were taken from me.
I was supposed to be able to take care of you angel, if only I had tried
harder to get you to go to the doctor more often, I know you never wanted
to go, but I should have tried harder to get you to go, and then they
would have detected something sooner, soon enough to do something before
you became too weak to take any treatment. I am so sorry Angel, I
failed you in such a way.
Even if I was to live a million years, I know that I will never feel the
same about any one else. your eyes and smile radiated such a warmth and
beauty that they came to etch themself into my mind and very being so
deep that they, like my love for you, will last for eternity and beyond.
R.I.P. My Darling Lynne
I Love you Lynne
Meine Liebe ewig